So, I'm having surgery on Tuesday~the whole nine yards - septoplasty, ESS (endoscopic sinus surgery), turbinate reduction and polyp removal. In translation, this means they are going to ream my nose and sinuses out with a small catuerizing laser and break the cartilage inside of my nose to reposition it. I can't wait! I've already freaked myself out by reading too much of the misleading internet, and have come full circle to accept my fate and hope for the best. My friend Marti is taking me in to Blue Ridge Surgery Center and will have to stay there the length of the surgey plus recovery time~approximately 2 and half hours for surgery; another hour or two for recovery. I guess "recovery" means you can walk out on your own without passing out. Padding will be shoved up my nose and removed the next day~another trip to the docs to pad their wallet. I will have plastic splints sutured to my septum for a week as well. I will be going home with a "drip pad" taped to the bottom of my nose, and was told it will have to changed on an average of every ten minutes or so. "What if I'm sleeping?" I asked. "Oh, the blood soaking through the pad will wake you up." Great answer. I read that one of the possible complications from this surgery is having your brain cavity nicked by the cleaning of the maxillary sinuses (the ones above your eye sockets). If this occurs, spinal fluid will leak out of your nose. "So," I asked, "If that happens, can you FIX that?" The doctor responded "Oh, yeah. We just place some fat up there to close up the perforation. It's only happened to me once." Like I really wanted to hear about his past mishaps.GREAT. And where is that fat gonna come from?I know~I sound like a fatalist right now. Honestly though, I'm just trying to be realistic. You just never know what could happen when you go under general anasthesia. I've already gotten all of the "it's going to be okay" speeches. It will- either I make it, or I don't. If I make it-then the next step comes. ...Pain Management! I don't consider myself a wuss by any means, but I must admit that I feel pain is an unnecessary factor when there are plenty of good drugs around to remedy that. Hopefully, this presciption of hydrocodone will assist in that area. If not, I may request one or two of you guys to come over here and bonk me in the head with a hammer. Don't worry~I won't hold it against you. Though I've been told that it will take at least a week to get over the major pain and be able to return to work, I hope it's a little less as I cannot afford to miss anymore. I was also told an adult needed to stay with me the first night home...but I don't think I can swing that either. To add insult to injury, I was also told I may have to vomit here and there as the blood from the surgey runs down the back of your throat into your stomach and makes you sick. Hence the other prescription for phenergan~suppositories, no less!! So basically I'm going to be a limping train wreck with a F***ed up face and a thing stuck up my butt so I won't ralph. I can think of anything better I could be doing!! HeheI know, I know..."But you will feel so much better once this is done!" Oh yeah, and your upper teeth and gums may be numb for a couple of weeks, but the feeling will gradually return. That's cool...I don't really care about eating anyway~NOT!Okay, I'll stop the armageddon procedural talk. Let's just hope Tues afternoon sees me in my bed, passed out to the world, feeling no pain, but still being able to wake my daughter up at 5:30 on Wed morning to catch the bus. Now that will be a miracle!!I'm sure I will post again before Tues morning, but I just thought I'd get that out since the more I hear it, the more it goes in one ear and out the other. By Tues, I'll be chipper and ready. IVs? Breathing tube? Shoving cameras and sharp instruments up my nose?? GO FOR IT!!And just a warning: As I will be legally high as a kite for a few days, I cannot be held responsible for any stupid shit I might say to anyone. Oh, wait...I always say stupid shit,...so nevermind.Cards and letters of sympathy are not necessary, but offerings of clear liquids and foot masages will be appreciated!! Hehehe